Sacrifice
by Lunastar31
Summary: CrowfeatherXLeafpool when leafpool makes a life threatening choice, will crowfeather stay true to her? First decent story. please R
1. Suicide

Sacrifice

The breeze from the moor blew through her fur like wind through the trees, though she felt not the usual burst of joy. Today her heart was empty. She had lost everything: her kits, her love, her treasured position within the clan. She had even lost her sister's mate for her. Her father even ignored her, paying too much attention to Squirrelflight. There was nothing she could do for anyone anymore. It would be better if she was dead.

She crossed the stream that marked the border between Thunderclan and Windclan. Her heart ached to run to Crowfeather, but resisted, instead heading for a cliff at the edge of the lake. She remembered the cliff vaguely. It was the cliff Jaypaw, Jayfeather now, had nearly drowned his second day as an apprentice. He would not have survived without Windclan. She hoped Windclan didn't show up today.

Almost as if she'd called them, she smelled a Windclan patrol on the air. Ashfoot, Heathertail, Onestar, and… Crowfeather.

Crowfeather followed Onestar up the ridge, followed by Heathertail, his old apprentice, and Ashfoot taking the rear. All was quiet, full with scents of rabbits. He was upwind of the Thunderclan border, so any danger would have to wait to be seen.

They reached the top, and there, not too far away was a light tabby cat. At first he couldn't tell who it was, but the wind abruptly changed and he caught her scent. Thunderclan… Leafpool.

Alert all of a sudden, she looked straight at him, her gaze filled with such anguish, his heart broke, into more pieces than it already was. Then she began to run straight for the cliff.

She ran, tears stinging at her eyes, straight for the cliff.

"Leafpool!" she heard Crowfeather yell, with such terror that she almost stopped, but not quite. She was almost at the cliff. It was too late to stop. She jumped and flew off the cliff.

Crowfeather gasped in pain. He looked at Onestar. Onestar seemed to grasp his meaning.

"If you go, you may not come back," he said with a test in his eyes.

The scent of Feathertail wrapped around him, filling him with warmth.

_Don't let her fall. _She whispered.

Determination filled him with strength like he had never had before. He raced for the cliff faster than a rabbit and hurled himself in after Leafpool.

Water clogged her ears and throat, making her unable to hear or breathe. Her paws felt heavy underneath her, but did not struggle to keep above water. And she sunk into darkness.

_Don't let her die, _he silently begged to Starclan. _I can't face it again. _

Suddenly Leafpool disappeared from view. A cat swam up behind him.

"Let's dive," she said.

Together they went under. Crowfeather grabbed her scruff and the she-cat got under her. Swimming strongly they pulled her onto Thunderclan's shore, where the she-cat shimmered and disappeared.

"Thank you Feathertail," he whispered softly before turning to Leafpool. She lay unmoving on the shore.

Panicked, he ran frantically towards Thunderclan camp, screaming as he went.

He was bowled over by a muscular tom. Lionblaze.

"What are you doing here?" Lionblaze demanded.

"Leafpool," he choked. "Lakeshore, unmoving, jumped, cliff…" he managed to say before swallowing a lump of terror that rendered him incapable of speech.

Lionblaze loosened his grip. "Go to her," he growled. "I'll get help."

As fast as he could he raced to the shore, where he could see shimmering cats beginning to gather.

_No! _Terror wracked his body, sending a wave of strength back into his body. _I'll fight them all. I won't let her die!_

He raced to her body and crouched over it snarling.

"Caution Crowfeather," a blue-gray she cat said. "She has few moments of life left."

"I won't let you take her," he said, a snarl ripping from his throat.

Just then five Thunderclan cats emerged from the forest, and the Starclan cats disappeared.

Firestar led the way, followed by Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Lionblaze and Jayfeather.

He stepped aside, as Firestar and Squirrelflight raced up to her unmoving body. Jayfeather snatched up his herbs and began to work over her unmoving body. Brambleclaw walked over to him and pressed his body against his. Warmth seeped back into Crowfeather's body as he watched Leafpool dying.

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love," Brambleclaw whispered to him. Squirrelflight stiffened.

Suddenly Leafpool choked and vomited up a huge amount of water, only to fall back into unconsciousness.

Jayfeather sighed and stood. "I have done all I can. She is in the paws of Starclan now."

All of them watched as Crowfeather stood and wailed a cry of anguish, so full of sorrow, all of them felt too overwhelmed with his grief to speak, and a chill seemed to spread throughout the forest.

All Leafpool could see was darkness. Her heart sunk. She had thought, that maybe, even after all she'd done, Starclan would still accept her.

Suddenly the air shimmered. Standing around her were all the cats Leafpool had known and loved. Feathertail was there, with Goldenflower, Runningnose, Sootfur, Rainwhisker, Barkface, Spottedleaf, Yellowfang, Bluestar, and Hollyleaf. She touched noses with her daughter, who had stepped forward to greet her.

"Can you ever forgive me," Leafpool asked pleadingly.

"I have seen the pain you've suffered for your decision. You were forgiven long ago." Leafpool's chest swelled with pride and hope at these words.

"Have you come to take me to Starclan?"

"That is your decision," Hollyleaf declared.

"Yes," Leafpool said fiercely. "I want to be accepted."

Feathertail now stepped forward, "Perhaps if you saw what was happening now…"

A terrible cry of grief filled the air.

"She's in the paws of Starclan now," Jayfeather whispered. The words seemed to echo in the air, over and over again.

She looked to where the wail had come from, and her heart faltered. It was Crowfeather, eyes crazed with terror and grief, but still he was there. He had saved her. Why? He had made it clear over and over again she did not love her, but looking into his eyes she knew they had been lying to their clans, each other, and themselves. Brambleclaw pressed against him, trying to calm him, but with little success, as his heart was still filled with sorrow from Squirrelflight.

Leafpool settled down next to Brambleclaw, determined to fix what she had started. Jayfeather's ears pricked.

"Let it go," she whispered. "Was what she did so wrong? Would you have acted any different if you knew? Would you have loved them any less? Respected them less as fine warriors and medicine cat?"

He looked straight at her, but shook it off as his thoughts. Jayfeather on the other hand did see her. She knew he could. He's always had that gift. He dipped his head, a nod of approval, much to Leafpool's surprise.

"Apologize to him," he mumbled to Squirrelflight.

"I have," she said, sorrow clouding her gaze.

"Do it now," he said gently. "It might be different." Reluctantly, Squirrelflight padded towards him.

Satisfied, and ready to make her decision, Leafpool returned to Starclan.

"Are you sure?" Hollyleaf asked after Leafpool told her the answer.

"Yes," Leafpool said firmly for the second time.

"All right. Let's go." Hollyleaf led Leafpool into darkness.

Crowfeather watched as Squirrelflight padded hesitantly towards Brambleclaw. She slid down next to him, licked his ear and whispered, "I'm sorry. Forgive me."

Brambleclaw surprised Crowfeather when he said, "No more secrets?"

"None," she vowed.

"You're forgiven," he said simply.

He turned to fix his gaze on the motionless tabby pelt in front of him. Firestar asked many a time if she could be taken to camp, but every time Jayfeather simply replied no. It seemed like ages before Leafpool's whiskers twitched. Crowfeather flew to her side. Her eyes slid open. She looked him straight in the eye.

"Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," Crowfeather managed to choke out before her eyes shut again. Panicked, Crowfeather brushed his tongue across her pelt in quick rhythmic licks.

"Her breathing is even," Jayfeather said. "She'll be fine."

Crowfeather looked at him, he looked back and Crowfeather felt that Jayfeather knew every moment he had shared with Leafpool.

"Thank you," Crowfeather whispered. "Thank you."

"I'm just doing my job." The words were emotionless. There was no feeling behind it.

"I'm proud of you."

"We all are," Firestar cut in unexpectedly, a little hostility in his voice. "Thank you for saving my daughter, but shouldn't you get back to Windclan now that you know Leafpool is ok?"

"I cannot."

"Onestar exiled you for showing mercy," he said, surprise in his voice.

"No he exiled me for showing where my true loyalties lie." Crowfeather looked longingly at Leafpool.

"With Thunderclan?" Firestar asked, although he knew the answer.

"No, with Leafpool." Crowfeather responded pointlessly.

"You are not welcome here," Lionblaze snarled.

Crowfeather felt hollow inside. His only option was to leave the clans. He could go to the Tribe of Rushing Water, or to the moors he and Leafpool ran away to, before the badger attack. Or Firestar spoke of a clan by the old forest, Skyclan or something, maybe there.

With one last lick behind Leafpool's ears, Crowfeather turned to leave.

"Wait." It was Brambleclaw who spoke. "If he leaves, I leave with him."

Crowfeather was astounded. He had never been especially close to Brambleclaw, and Brambleclaw was the deputy! He was amazed Brambleclaw would show such loyalty to him.

"Brambleclaw?" Firestar was angry. "I hope you have an explanation."

"What if Sandstorm was in a different clan? You loved Spottedleaf once. You know what forbidden love is like. You saw Graystripe with Silverstream. You saw what it was like for him to lose her. Are you going to make Leafpool and Crowfeather go through that? Could you bear it? Leafpool is no longer a medicine cat. She is free to have a mate. She loves Crowfeather, who has been exiled from his clan. It is no one's business should he chose to come here."

Firestar was speechless. He knew Brambleclaw spoke the truth, and he didn't like it very much, but it made sense.

He looked at Crowfeather, at his muscled body, his dark pelt, his astute eyes. He would be a valuable member of Thunderclan.

"We will bring him back, a prisoner, and we will see how things go," Firestar declared.

Lionblaze looked hostile; Jayfeather looked emotionless; Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight both looked happy.

During this time, Leafpool had awoken and was trying to get to her feet. Crowfeather saw her and sprinted to her side. She leaned heavily on him, bruises covering her body.

"We will bring him back, a prisoner, and we will see how things go."

Leafpool's heart swelled at these words. Crowfeather would become a member of Thunderclan, she just knew it.

More than anything, she wanted to run to Crowfeather, so she tried to get up. Seeing her, Crowfeather ran to her. She felt warm inside as she realized he still cared for her.

Together, they took a few steps, and then a few more, and soon they were stumbling through the forest, Firestar taking the lead. Leafpool didn't care that she was almost too sore to move, they were together, and that was all that mattered. And that was when she knew Starclan had a plan for her, and Crowfeather, and no matter what happened, for the rest of their lives, they would be together.


	2. At Last

In Starclan, the cats had gathered to try and make sense of Crowfeather's decision. Some cats believed in it, such as Bluestar, Silverstream, Spottedleaf, Oakheart, Stonefur, Goldenflower, Whitestorm, Thunderstar, and Feathertail. The Windclan cats were all furious though.

Crowfeather was a true Windclan cat, descended from Windstar herself, but Leafpool was a beautiful and gentle she-cat determined to serve her clan and her kits without anything in return.

How could Starclan have let this happen? The answer was simple… Feathertail.

"How could you have let him betray his clan for that mangy she-cat they call Leafpool?" Windstar screeched at Feathertail. "How? He was completely loyal, before you! And Leafpool! Nightcloud was a good mate, and he had a son for crying out loud! He could have been a great leader!"

"He would have been unhappy, divided between love for Leafpool and love for his clan. If his clan made him chose over her dead body, then that was not the clan he could have been happy in." Feathertail said wisely. "Leafpool is a good cat, and Thunderclan is a good clan. I admire them for the way they accepted Stormfur and Brook after they had been exiled from both his homes. I believe this is the path Crowfeather was always meant to follow."

Unable to respond, Windstar glared at Feathertail, sitting calmly among those who believed Crowfeather was making the right choice.

"I trust Firestar to make the right decision," Spottedleaf said simply. "He will know what to do, but until he makes that choice, then no Starclan cat is to influence it. Crowfeather needs to prove himself alone."

Slowly, all the cats murmured their agreement.

**

Three moons had passed, and still Crowfeather remained a prisoner. Leafpool had healed and was serving her clan as strongly as ever, but Crowfeather continued to be treated like Crowpaw, the mousebrained apprentice. He could fight better than most of the Thunderclan cats, he just couldn't get used to stalking your prey. He brought back more rabbits than you can count, but any other prey escaped his quick claws.

Leafpool came everyday at sunhigh to share tongues with him, and tell him how Squirrelflight was. She was expecting Brambleclaw's kits, and they were due any sunrise now that it was newleaf.

One particularly busy morning for patrols and hunting, since a frost was on the way, Crowfeather was awakened by two cries of anguish, both coming from the nursery. He rushed over to find Squirrelflight wide-eyed with terror, and Ferncloud crouching over her.

Ferncloud looked over to him, "Find Jayfeather or Leafpool, Squirrelflight is having her kits!"

"The camp is empty except for us and the elders. Everyone is patrolling, hunting, or training." He took a deep breath. "We're going to have to do this without them."

Crowfeather looked at the other queen, Daisy, "Do you two know the scent of the herbs used?" he asked. They both nodded. "Good, go get them. I've seen Nightcloud and other queens kit before. I know what to do." Crowfeather hoped he sounded more confident than he felt, for Squirrelflight's sake.

Placing a paw on her stomach, he murmured words of comfort to her. When Daisy and Ferncloud returned, he fed the herbs to Squirrelflight, and then sent Daisy to go find Brambleclaw and Jayfeather. He sent Daisy, because Ferncloud knew more about clan births than Daisy.

After what seemed like moons, a particularly strong spasm sent the first kit tumbling out, a she-cat. Ferncloud nipped the sac and began to lick, while Crowfeather prepared for the next kit. Another spasm pushed the next kit out, another she-cat. By then, the elders had come to help, and Mousefur took that kit. One more she-cat came, which Longtail took, and the last kit was a she-cat as well, which Crowfeather began to warm up.

"Congratulations," he said to Squirrelflight. "You have four healthy kits."

"Thank you Crowfeather," she said before pushing her kits closer to suckle. Just then Brambleclaw burst into camp, and rushed over to the nursery just as Longtail and Mousefur left.

"How is she," he fretted to the elders.

"Go in and find out for yourself," Mousefur purred.

Brambleclaw peered in, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Squirrelflight, with four beautiful kits sleeping beside her.

He padded up to her, and pressed his fur into hers, his eyes full of love.

"What would you like to name them?" he asked.

"The little tortoiseshell she-cat, could we name her Spottedkit?" she responded.

"Whatever you like," he said.

"This one," she said, pointing to the reddish tabby she-cat, "should be Goldenkit, after your mother. The light silver tabby could be Silverkit, and the last one, the light blue-grey tabby, I think Crowfeather should name." Squirrelflight looked expectantly at him.

"How about… Featherkit?" he suggested shyly.

"Perfect." Squirrelflight seemed satisfied.

"Spottedkit, Goldenkit, Silverkit, and Featherkit, my beautiful kits," Brambleclaw whispered. "My kits…"

**

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highledge for a meeting." Firestar's call rang throughout the clearing.

Wearily Crowfeather padded out to sit beside Leafpool and look up at Firestar.

"Today a warrior has proved his loyalty to Thunderclan. I would like to welcome him as a full warrior of Thunderclan. Crowfeather."

Shocked, Crowfeather padded to stand below the Highledge. Firestar leapt down to meet him.

"From now on, you shall be welcomed as a warrior of Thunderclan." Firestar rested his muzzle on Crowfeather's head, and Crowfeather licked his shoulder respectfully.

"Crowfeather, Crowfeather!" Leafpool's and Brambleclaw's cries rang out loud and clear as they came to congratulate him. He threw a quick glance at his sons, sitting side by side at the edge of the clearing. Lionblaze glared back, eyes burning with resentment. Jayfeather was still indifferent.

Ferncloud, Daisy, Mousefur, and Longtail all murmured their approval, having been there earlier in the day.

Crowfeather felt his heart swell with pride. He was a warrior of Thunderclan now, fighting to protect those who he loved, at last.


	3. Worthless

**Authors note: I don't really like Leafpool as the whole damsel in distress, so I am hoping to mix things up a little this chapter. Hope you like it.**

The scent of mouse hit Leafpool, and she instinctively dropped into a crouch. Treading lightly, she crept up to it. Silently she stalked it. CRUNCH! Her tail hit the bracken above her head. Startled the squirrel ran off. Frustrated, she turned around, only to see Crowfeather padding up to her.

"It's ok," he said. "You'll get it next time; anyone could have made that mistake."

"Yes," Leafpool mewed, "but it always happens to me! I'll ever learn how to hunt for anything other than herbs."

"Its fine, any ordinary warrior could have made that mistake," Crowfeather meowed reassuringly. Anger and resentment burned inside Leafpool.

_I used to be so much more than that! _Leafpool thought miserably. _I was born to heal, not hunt. How did my life come to this?_

Not wanting Crowfeather to see her so miserable and defeated, she angrily stalked away into the ferns.

**

"Leafpool, wait!" Crowfeather called, but Leafpool turned on him with such a fierce growl, burning with anger, he stepped back and watched her stalk away.

Confused and upset, Crowfeather padded back to camp, his catch dangling from his mouth. He had caught two mice and a squirrel.

When he walked into camp Brambleclaw glanced at him, eyes gleaming with happiness.

"You can take that to the nursery if you like," he said, not as a deputy, as much as a father.

"How are they?" Crowfeather asked, knowing Brambleclaw was bursting with news.

"They have all opened their eyes. Featherkit and Silverkit both have blue eyes, Goldenkit has amber eyes, and Spottedkit has Firestar's eyes," Brambleclaw told him proudly.

"Has he seen them yet?" Crowfeather asked. Brambleclaw's eyes immediately darkened.

"No…," he began slowly. "He hasn't been out of his den in a while. He insists nothing is wrong, when I go see him, but his muscles are constantly clenching, and his eyes are dark with pain. Jayfeather is treating him, but I don't think it is doing him any good." Seeing Crowfeather's face when he mentioned Jayfeather he added, "I do love him like a son, I know he isn't mine, but he is like kin to me."

"I know," said Crowfeather. "And I am grateful for that. Do you think it would be alright if I visited Firestar?"

"Yes," said Brambleclaw nodding thoughtfully. "That might be a good idea." As Crowfeather padded to Firestar's den he added, "By the way, where's Leafpool?"

It was Crowfeather's eyes that darkened now as he responded, "I don't know; I think I upset her."

Brambleclaw looked concerned now, "Are you sure that is wise? The dawn patrol scented badger this morning, and Leafpool is not strong enough to fight it off if it finds her."

Without another word, Crowfeather shot out the tunnel and into the forest, with Brambleclaw chasing after him.

A bone-chilling shriek echoed throughout the forest, and Crowfeather pushed his muscles on faster. If anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.

**

The great white creature loomed in front of her, swinging its muzzle back and forth. In desperation she let out a shriek of terror, hoping to alert a nearby patrol, but the forest was silent except for the growling of the badger heading straight for Leafpool!

Her memory shot back to the battle with the badgers, right after Thunderclan had moved into the new territory. Summoning all the determination she had, she remembered the death of Cinderpelt, and leaped, landing squarely on the back of the creature.

Yelping in pain, the badger tried desperately to shake her off, but anger made her strong. She held on firmly with her front paws while her hind paws scratched deep into its flesh and turned its coarse white fur red. Anger also made her stupid, and she tried to jump onto its muzzle, but with a great swipe of its head, it knocked her into a nearby tree and with a sickening crunch, she felt a pain in her shoulder. Helplessly she watched as the badger lumbered towards her, about to get its helpless prey at last, when a battle cry filled the air.

**

When Crowfeather arrived at the end of Leafpool's scent trail he saw Leafpool being thrown into a tree. Screeching a cry of battle, he raced for the badger and began to distract it while Brambleclaw swiped at its muzzle and nipped his legs. Furious the badger swung at both cats, and both were hurtled into tree trunks.

**

While she watched the two tomcats fighting Leafpool desperately treated her leg. After a couple of heartbeats, she relaxed, discovering it was only dislocated. She set it back in place, only to hear two crunches, much the same as hers, coming from opposite ends of the clearing.

She looked up and saw Crowfeather and Brambleclaw laying wounded against two trees, and the badger was heading straight at Crowfeather. Anger and strength once again filled her body as she ran at the badger. Sprinting, she began to feel warriors running with her. Looking to each side she saw Feathertail, Yellowfang, Bluestar, Spottedleaf, Hollyleaf, and Whitestorm running beside her.

"We fight together," they seemed to whisper, and side by side, they attacked the badger.

**

Gasping in pain, Crowfeather looked up to see Leafpool, fighting like all of Lionclan. She scratched and clawed. She bit and kicked, and finally the badger ran away into the forest, just as the sunhigh patrol reached them.

Birchfall flicked his tail, a signal for Ivypaw and Spiderleg to chase after the badger and make sure it left their territory. As they disappeared into the trees, following the scent trail, Birchfall and Thornclaw turned to Crowfeather and Brambleclaw.

"Are you all right?" Birchfall questioned. "Better let Jayfeather have a look at you when you get back to camp."

Leafpool opened her mouth to say something, but bit it back; she was no longer a medicine cat.

Crowfeather, on the other hand, was not so understanding.

"Perhaps Leafpool should make sure we are fit to travel," he suggested, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Thornclaw glanced at Brambleclaw who lay, unmoving, against the tree trunk.

"That might be a good idea," he said, in a panicky voice. "Look at Brambleclaw." The whole group turned in his direction.

**

Immediately Leafpool began issuing out orders, "Thornclaw, go find me rushes, Birchfall find cobwebs. Crowfeather find marigold. Hurry!"

She ran to him and began to examine his wounds. The scrapes and cuts were minor, but there was serious swelling in his shoulder, and his breathing was shallow and hoarse.

_Please, Starclan. _Leafpool prayed. _Let him be alright. Please._


End file.
